


like blood and bone

by humanveil



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Character Study, Gen, Implied/Referenced Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-06
Updated: 2017-06-06
Packaged: 2018-11-09 10:26:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11102619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/humanveil/pseuds/humanveil
Summary: Severus may have outgrown his radical beliefs, but there is still a sadist within. Still a part of him which enjoys this.





	like blood and bone

In comparison, the first war had been more organised.

Severus remembers it well, remembers how every move had been planned out impeccably, every action given a purpose. Something that would help their cause.

Now, it feels more like destruction for destructions sake. There’s no discernible goal, no view beyond Harry Potter’s downfall. Beyond his death. More often than not, their only orders are to wreak havoc. To remind the population of the terror they’re capable of.

For the most part, Severus finds it pointless.

Other times, he has flickers of interest.

He may no longer believe in what they’re doing -- is no longer deluded by the Dark Lord’s false promises of power and glory -- but there is still a sadist inside of him. Still traces of the boy who learnt dark magic for fun, who took pride in being one of the best at its execution.

Still a part of him which enjoys this.

It’s not that he seeks it out -- he's not like the others, he doesn’t go out of his way to create pain -- but he doesn’t decline opportunities when they’re offered. Doesn’t walk away as often as he should.

It can scare him, sometimes. To feel that familiar stir. The thrum of power deep within his chest when he has someone screaming and writhing at his feet. The sense of satisfaction when a curse hits just right, when crimson drips from skin, a tangible reminder of what he’s capable of. Of what power he holds.

It’s reminiscent of his younger self; bitter and destructive. Filled to the brim with suppressed rage and prepared to take it out on anyone who may get in his way. Reminds him of Albus’ concerns, of how he’d not been given the Defence post in fear that he’d fall back into old habits. That he’d turn into his old self.

He wonders if Albus had known just how right he’d been, though Severus doesn’t consider it an old self. It’s evidently still a part of him, will most likely always be a part of him.  

In his defence, he’s never claimed otherwise.


End file.
